Unboxing Motherhood is the second blog post in my series, Unboxing Women. This series is a gentle invitation for women to break out of the labels that seek to define us, offering new expansiveness on our paths to self-growth and healing. My hope is that you’ll follow along and try out these practices, which will gently challenge you to level up and free yourself from the boxes that cage you.
Motherhood Does Not Mean Self-Abandonment
When my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, I became a full-time caregiver, advocate, nurse, dietitian, and emotional anchor – overnight.
Motherhood expanded my heart in ways I didn’t know were possible. But it also made me disappear for a while.
I now know: you can be a loving, present mother and still be a whole person with your own dreams, health, and needs.
I also know: you do not have to be a mother – whether that is by choice, or other circumstances – to still be a whole person with your own dreams, health, and needs.
Motherhood isn’t about vanishing. It’s about becoming more.
Not having children is not about vanishing. It is also about becoming more.
Unboxing Motherhood
- Write a letter to yourself honoring the path you’ve taken, whether as a mother, a non-mother by choice, or someone navigating grief or acceptance in this area. Acknowledge your strength, your care, and your capacity to nurture, however it shows up.
- Make a list of ways you mother people, projects, your community, animals, yourself. Nurturing doesn’t require parenting a child.
- Make a list of all the roles you carry that are not related to mothering someone or something. Celebrate those.
Unboxing Motherhood Journal Prompts
Choose 1–2 prompts, set a timer for 20 minutes, and allow your pen to keep moving on the page without judgment. Avoid trying to force out a story or even coherent sentences – let this be an authentic expression of your truth. I find it really helpful to use paper that you will burn or dispose of afterwards, rather than a special journal, because I know then that I am totally free to write whatever comes up.
- If I could release all societal expectations about motherhood, what truths about myself would I be freer to honor?
- How have I shown deep love and care in my life — even if it wasn’t through being a parent?
- If I’ve longed to be a mother and that hasn’t happened, what support or compassion do I need to offer myself today?
- What do I wish people understood about my relationship to motherhood (or non-motherhood)?
Self-Care Practices After Journaling
Journaling can bring up sensations and emotions, often long-buried. It’s important to give yourself a little space to process, particularly if the practice stirred up some big, difficult feelings.
After journaling, build in time for something that truly soothes you, such as:
- Guided relaxation in a dark, quiet place
- Silent walk in nature (leave your ear buds at home)
- Yoga: any type
- Singing/vocalizing
- Cooking a meal
- Being with an animal
Next Time: Unboxing Appearances
This is a big hairy one. Join me when my next post is live as we explore and challenge the way we look, and how it makes us feel and show up in our lives.
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